I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Terrible idea I love it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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