Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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