I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
