brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
