Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
