Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
