I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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