His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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