I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
