What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
