I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
