From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
