Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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