Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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