its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
