Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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