he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
