i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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