winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
