fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
