Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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