I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
