That's when you crack a 10am beer
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
