Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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