Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
