Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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