it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
