fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
