And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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