Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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