...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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