my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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