when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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