i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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