Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
