The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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