I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
