So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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