ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I believe in your delicious
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