ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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