he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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