The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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