So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
