I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize