is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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