I'm so fucking centered right now
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
