can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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