What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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