is your mom at the bar?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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