Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
