Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
