Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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