She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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