i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
