Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
