ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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