Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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