Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
