why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
